My Year as an Atheist

Why I left the church and why I came back.

For a year during college, I considered myself an atheist. Long story short, I thought God was calling me to be a pastor, but when that didn’t work out, I gave up on religion. I didn’t understand Christianity. For about a year, I wandered.

Why I Became an Atheist

When I was a freshman in college, I thought God was calling me to be a youth pastor. Let me unpack that a little bit. Emotions ruled my life when I was a teenager. I had no discernment when it came to intense feelings. When I got an inkling that I should go into ministry, I didn’t question it.

Freshman year of college, I majored in chemical engineering. I couldn’t stop thinking about what “God had called me to do.” I also had the misconception that being in ministry was the only way to further God’s kingdom — laymen’s terms: be a good Christian.

When I decided to pursue this “calling,” I visited other colleges, because my state university didn’t have the major I thought I needed. At a private college, I could take Bible classes. I found one and was all set up to transfer at the beginning of my sophomore year.

After finishing my freshman year, I tried to sign up for classes at this new college. With the help of an advisor, I figured out that it would take me…