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How My Eating Disorder Started
I want to share with you how my eating disorder started. You don’t just wake up one day with a terrible relationship with food. Basically, I am going to go through my entire junior year of high school. There were a few key events during that year that triggered the mental disorder.
Before I start I want to say that after ten years, I have tried my best to forgive. I believe forgiveness is a process. I still have moments where I think “what if?” Sometimes it’s more than that, sometimes it less, but it always ends up the same. I can’t blame anyone for what happened to me. I made choices too.
I played volleyball since fifth grade and I loved it. I dreamed of playing in college. I worked hard to get better, playing during the summer and lifting weights. You can imagine how excited I was when the summer between my freshman and sophomore years, the varsity coach said I might play varsity the coming year.
And you can imagine my disappointment when my freshman coach, the one who benched me, moved up with us to coach JV.
So no I didn’t get to play varsity my sophomore year.
The summer between my sophomore year and my junior year, I went to every open gym the varsity coach held. Multiple times he indicated to me that I would start varsity that coming year.
